Acceptance is a journey—a process of recognizing your habitual patterns, whether they are mental or behavioral. It begins with acknowledging that these patterns exist and that you actively engage in them, whether they benefit or harm your body, mind, and soul.

Recently, I’ve realized that many people, particularly those facing life challenges or mental health issues, often get stuck at the stage of acceptance or skip this crucial step altogether. Without it, meaningful change becomes difficult.

The thinking process often goes like this: “I feel depressed and stressed, so I need to do something to relieve it. Maybe I’ll exercise, go on a trip, or find a distraction.” While this approach provides temporary relief, it doesn’t address the root cause. Before taking action, one important step can make a huge difference: understanding and accepting. Understanding what’s happening within your body, mind, and heart and accept the realizations. Many of us avoid this exercise. I used to as well, and I struggled significantly because each new understanding brought truths I hadn’t been ready to face.

Why Do We Resist Understanding and Thinking?

Humans, like animals, are designed to survive. To do so, we gravitate toward comfort zones, as they increase our efficiency and sense of security. Our modern living environment is significantly safer than that of our ancestors, but this has compromised our adaptability. Imagine a factory with a standard operating procedure (SOP), producing the same product and work with the same routine every day. Following the same routine is easier and feels safer. But life doesn’t work like that. Unlike animals, we possess consciousness, which means there is no universal SOP for living.

Despite this, society conditions us to follow certain life “SOPs.” Our systems often discourage independent thinking and reduce our capacity for understanding and acceptance. I often tell my foreign friends that my country’s education system is a “feeding” system. Throughout my school life, I memorized information shared by teachers and regurgitated it in exams. Rarely did we ask “Why?” Instead, the most common question was, “What’s going to be on the exam?” Teachers were often surprised when I asked why something was the way it was. This mindset extended to my family life as well, and over time, I lost the ability to think critically.

For many of us, this “comfort zone”—built over 17 years of education and family culture—has stifled our ability to empathize, understand, and accept.

How to Train Ourselves to Understand and Think

The first thing I learned in my journey to better understand and think critically was to reflect on myself from a third-person perspective. Observe without judgment, and maintain a balanced mindset.

This is easier said than done, of course. Here’s a practical tip: Remind yourself that everything revolves around habits, and nothing is permanent. Habits can be built, but they can also be destroyed. One way to practice this new mindset is to start by practicing a new way of speaking. For example, shift from describing other people’s behavior (which many of us like to do, as I observe) to expressing your feelings first. For instance, instead of starting a conversation by discussing others, begin by sharing your emotions mindfully, and then lead into the subject matter. This exercise builds empathy for yourself (helping you notice your feelings more easily) and improves relationships by signaling to others that you’re open to understanding them.

Acceptance Makes a Huge Difference

After understanding comes acceptance. At the start of this process, you may experience emotions like frustration, anger, sadness, discomfort, or disappointment. But that’s okay—these emotions are not negative; they are signs that you’re becoming more aware and conscious. This discomfort is often the first step toward real change.

How you respond to this discomfort—whether you embrace it, ignore it, or avoid it—will determine your future. I urge you to endure it, to be present with those emotions. Take this opportunity to train your mental resilience and cultivate equanimity. Mindfulness can help you become aware of what is happening within you and why you are experiencing these emotions. Combined with equanimity, you will strengthen your adaptability and resilience, just as nature adapts to harsh environments. Resilience can help us to thrive with happiness. Eventually, you’ll feel a sense of lightness, a warm light shining into your heart.

In this age of information overload and social media bombardment, we are often misled into believing that there are easy paths to freedom and happiness. But true freedom can’t be achieved without enduring some suffering. This endurance is what differentiates those who find lasting, meaningful happiness from those who don’t—not in terms of wealth, but in terms of inner peace.

May all beings be happy!